Jason
By: Austin Eckstrom
"The Future has a way of arriving unannounced." -George Will
I can't belive him." I wasn't sure what feeling i was experiencing at that moment in time. I couldn't even begin to explain how i felt as those words broke through my lips.
"He wont listen to us. He never does." Jill's voice was somber.
"Jesus Christ, we have to do something. I mean, he's going to fuck up his life! Maybe not by doing this one thing, but he's going to if he stays on this track!"
"Adam, there is nothing we can do!"
"We can try!"
"Its pointless!" Jill rose her voice a bit. A feeling of hopelessness came over me as I calmed down. A strong, cold gust of wind blew from behind me stinging the tips of my ears. Jill and I stood alone outside her house with fall leaves blowing and rustling in the wind, spinning in circles around us. The silence was uncomfortable, I had to say something.
"Jill, he is our best friend, we have to try." I could feel the bottom of my eye lids fill up with tears. I held them back with all that i could.
"Well, he's been your friend for longer. You should talk to him."
"I feel like he doesn't care what the hell we think. And yet i feel like i shouldn't be mad at him. I can't be mad at him for doing something with his life that i don't agree with, can I? It's not something that i can be mad at. I mean, i don't know what I'm thinking, I dont know, I just, I'm so... disappointed."
"We can be mad." She seemed shocked at the idea that we shouldn't be mad at him.
"I don't think that we can. What it comes down to is that it was his choice, and he clearly didn't give a fuck what any of us thought." Thoughts flew through my head. It was as simple as that! I mean, how else can you put it? He says he cares about us so much, and all the other times he has messed up[ the only thing he tells us is how much he doesn't wanna loose us. Can we even believe him anymore whenhe says that? For the fifth time? Jill stood before me in silence and tried not to cry.
"I'm giving him a ride home tomorrow, I'll talk to him."
"Okay, tell me about it." There was a stillness for a little while
"He's changed." Her tone changed when she mentioned this.
"Yea. Ha, tell me about it. He used to not even litter."
"Seriously?"
"Haha, yea." Memories filled my mind at such a rapid pace. Little Jason. He never had a girlfriend till the beginning of last year. And now he can't go a week without one. It was weird to think about. My best friend, and I barely knew who he was anymore.
"You know, I don't even know why we are such good friends, we don't think the same way at all. Most people would never even guess that we've been best friends for as long as I can remember."
"This is depressing. I don't wanna think about this."
"No, we have to sometime. Otherwise we'll never get over it."
"I don't want to get over it. I want it to turn out good. I don't want there to be anything to get over." Jills bottom lip began to tremble.
"I just, ugh. I don't even know how to put the way I'm feeling right now into words. I want to shoot him, but i want to hug him, I'm disappinted, but relieved, I'm surprised, but reall I'm not at all. I love him to death, and I'm afraid to loose him." I began to cry, i couldn't hold it in. I felt one teardrop slowly emerge out of my eye and drip slowly down my cheek. I shut my eyes, and felt the rest of the tears surge out from in between my closed eyelids. "No, I'm not mad. I'm afraid. And even though I'm afraid, I will stick with him. I will do whatever it takes to keep this stupid dumbass as my best friend. I will be there for him whatever he does. No matter how mad he makes me. I love him, and it's a kind of love that only some people will be able to know. And it's because of this love that I'm afraid for him. And i don't know if he will ever be able to understand that." My voice broke a few times as i said the last sentence.
I looked up to face Jill. She was starting at me in shock, or what looked like shock, i couldn't tell really through the tears that were still in my eyes.
"Wow." She said
"I'm sorry." I paused for a moment. "We just have to let him go, let him do what he wants. We can't keep him in a cage. That's what friends would do. Thats what best friends would do." I said softly, wiping away my tears so i could at least see clear.
"Why don't you tell him that?"
"Remember, he almost never talks to us anymore." I couldn't believe i said that. I had just tortured myself even more when I uttered that sentence. I started to cry again.
"You know Allie is talking to him right now?" She seemed like she was trying to alter the conversation a little bit.
"Yea, she said that she would call me after."
"Tell me about that tomorrow, i have to go to bed, i can't handle this." She turned around to walk back into her house; I could hear her crying and sniffling.
"Hey, come here." I quickly ran up to her. She turned around and leaned into my chest and wrapped her arms so tight around me that i felt like my rib cage was going to cave in. She stood there and sobbed, and i hugged her back as hard as i could as she soaked the front of my shirt with tears. And it was in this moment, this very moment that i knew this girl was my best friend, and always will be. And i could only hope, that she wouldn't be my only one.
We stood and cried together when my phone interrupted the silence. I struggled i pull it out of my pocket. As i held it up to read who was calling me the bright fluorescent light of the screen nearly blinded me. I brought my head up to look Jill in the eye.
"Its Allie." Jill and I exchanged a look of discomfort, and nervousness. My phone made a slight click as i flipped it open. Before i even held it up to my ear i could hear Allie crying on the other line.
"No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow" -Alice Walker
